Friday, October 25, 2013

follow you? follow me.

check in.

it's a maddening world sometimes if your looking to disconnect. 
who wants that?
all senses on high. 
it's the only way to go-

so weather you want nothing to do with my nonsence. 
you want everything to do with my nonsence. 

here ya go!
no excuses. 

from my rockstars
my dream wedding- 
i mean house. 
it's bliss. 

the world now knows.
 it's all yours to ponder on.
 it's an open book.
 or screen. 
or phone. 

and remember not all that is posted is truth.
that's the dirty little secret about cyber- anything. 
it's editable. 
it's deletable.
it's filter-able.

you comin' or what? 
let's goooooo!
follow me. 
follow you?

follow thy heart. 

thank god i write and shoot nonfiction. 
who needs a fairytale?

i do.

Monday, October 21, 2013

posted. post it.

 pushing through a blog post because i can. 
i can. 
i want to. 
i need to. 

realizing that not everything has to always be this big huge show or perfectly placed perfection. 
why yes- yes it does. just not tonight. 

it's late. it's dark. the screen lights up my keybord just enough for me to peek at the keys if need be. 
snuggled up in my bed with Mr. Mac. 
just like no t.v's in the bedroom and no dogs on the bed. 
but sometimes i've been known to break the rules.

So my thoughts tonight as i push through are as such.

keep it simple. 
short. sweet. to the point. no frills. well, some frills. 
the little simple things speak to me. 
i consider this post a yellow sticky note of sorts. 
a reminder. 
a note. 
a handwritten something.
a reminder. 
did i mention that?

sometimes it's okay to feel like you need that little yellow sticky note to keep you on track. 
make you remember. 
remember why you need reminding.

this is my reminder. 

i can still log in after a long days monday 
and type
and think
and blog
no fancy edits
 pics or posts. 

just a simple ramble that makes me feel like 
i have so much to say while saying nothing at all really. 
random ramble at it's finest.

it's a happy place.
sometimes nothing needs to be said because you already know. 


hear that? 
it's my heart beating.
not much else needs to be spoken. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

home to me...

home to me.
mi little casa. 
huge love. 

the weather has finally turned and it actually feels like fall. 
a warm fall day feels crisp. 
the days when the doors are open and the candles glow. 
the house is clean and quiet and i gleam. 

i've always needed my own.

a place to decorate pretty.
where paper products and scents take you there. 
lyrics lie on your heart and your day begins. 

a humble heart. 
day 2 of blown out hair
the ever faithful go-to lulu attire
just in case the namaste calls.
however these are the days Mr. Mac keeps the line busy. 
this girl complains not. 
thankful for sure.
 it looks like it's getting festive.
 a holiday house. 
i say yes. 
let's celebrate. 
dust the cobwebs
no more skeletons in the closet. 
let's raise the dead. 

i'm ready. 

ever so cozy. 
snuggle in and settle your heart. 
no ghosts here. 
it's a peaceful place these days. 

 what's your story?
always amazing how you may be on the same page but a completely different book.
only time could tell that ending. 
the clocks. 
 same time. 

same page. same book.
as it should be. 
'bout time. 

i do it all the time. 
let's use that typewriter to write the love story. 
no filter. 
no deleting. 
no mistakes. 
who knew. 

it's there. 
because i believe.
it's a funny little thing-
and so is the fact i have chickens in my backyard. 
my girls. 
oh how i love them.
fresh. real. organic. chicken shit even. 
i'll take it.
 farm fresh and fabulous- 

and those are fake lemons. 
go figure.

it's always thrown.  
this time it stuck to a pumpkin 
and Cinderella loved hers. 
 and how about that fairy god mother?

right where he needs to be. 
a daily reminder. 
glass slippers- they do exist. 


center stage for their most important things that are all them.
wherever the road may lead...
the road. the radio and nothin' but time. 
 route 66.
time to travel. 
time travel.
depending on the who's drivin' that car-
it's always nice to plan a future your way. 
 it's the highway of life and i let them live it and love it as they see fit. 
freedom or just free-
 to just be. 


the rockstars- that's who. 
a stuffed hand-made headboard and a vintage-ish chandy suites her slumber parties sweetly. 
textures and colors as deep as her little old soul. 

they love theirs. 
not for rent.
they own whats in my whole heart. 
it's all theirs. 

cup of joe?
coj- is easier to text by the way. 
btw... easier to text as well.

a text may read: 
"coj now brewing btw"

 consider that an invite.
the door is open. 
the guard dog is waiting. 
she bites. 

something is always 
to do-ing.

and someone is always

bacon wrapped dates, swanky mugs, savvy scents, love letters and love songs... 
may or may not suite your fancy. 
good news is it doesn't have too.
this is home to me.
don't be scared- those cobwebs were purposely placed there.
it's almost hallows-eve.

 home to me?
home to me. 


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

fall- not falling.

the season that is. 
circa 2013

happening now. 
that mountain. 
been there. 
up and down and up and down it feels like a ba-gillion times. 
this time was different. so different, on so many levels. 
it was reminiscent of a time that was filled with 
hard work, long days, dirt, dirt roads, cows, cow shit, smells, 
horses, cowboys, spurs, leather, barbwire, cattle trucks, camp fires, 
dogs, rocks, exhaustion, heart, integrity, solitude, trust, simplicity. 
all of those things that are embeded in "that" way of life. 
or so you think.
well, at the end of those long days they were

were, was, has, has been. 
the past. 
the past. 
i could rant and rave on this blog-o-mine as most days i thought i might- 
i wanted to. i so could. but my heart just can't go there and though my road may be dirt
it's held in the highest regard.
someone once told me- when on the high road there's no looking down.
no frowns. 
easier said than done sometimes. 
but let's get focused here. 
it's all clarity to me. 
roped. tied down. branded. shipped.  

it's like watching the tail lights of shipping trucks amidst the dust at dusk. 
though it's something you have raised, nurtured, cared for, looked after, loved- 
just like that- sold. gone. or just sent to the feed yard. 
disregarded. out of sight, out of mind mentality. 
sad- maybe. 
truthful- not mine kind of truth,
but to each his own.

it's a brand that will forever burn, maybe because it means something.
a symbol which at one time had representation
or maybe just because it's a brand-
burned with a hot iron from the fire into the flesh for the world to see.
like a tattoo.  you'd better l.o.v.e it. 
or you'll hate it. 
regret it. 
hold onto the resentment. 

so love it. 
embrace it. 
let it go.

 i can honestly say i never saw my life here or not here.
not that i had it all planned out-
 i have always had a firm belief that i was really never in total control.
we all pretend.

 it was the most beautiful evening turned morning- 
clear, crisp, clean.
a trail ride- ha!
a trail runner- who knew? 
i sure as hell did not. 
but again who knew? 

the kind of morning when everything that surrounds you is taken in. 
coddled. held. close to your heart. 
you're at peace. 
in such a familiar place that feels so close yet so far away. 
 because of haste or hate or maybe just time-
it feels yet so close again-
for so many different reasons.
real or surreal. 
i'll take them both.
release. run. refuel. rejoice.

again- clarity. 
like sun rays through the leaves i basked knowing 
that i now have the capability and the strength to shine.
to choose.
to choose to be happy. 
surround myself with what makes me happy.
with who makes me happy. 
with what speaks to me. 
with what makes me smile. 
with people and places that fulfill me. 

it's not all about me-
actually- right now, 
as unselfish as this can sound- 
yes, why yes, it is. 

it's my second chance at life, at love, at everything in between.

now run-a-long.

 and that little quote sits bedside. 
on the left side of the bed. 
my bed. 
my big bed. 

right- we were running weren't we?
rambling- staying true to this blog has never not been an option. 
i love a good ramble, run on, blah blah blah sentence.
this you know- i know.

and who the hell doesn't love a good selfie?!?
you're lying-
random is one thing we do well on this blog as well-
gosh it feels good to be home.... 
but anyhoo,
when you run your heart out in the middle on no where arizona
who else is there to capture 
that smile.
that peace.
that happy heart.
that moment.
that silliness.
that bad ass shirt. 
that headband?
 thank the hair gods because i forgot a hair tie. 
i now know what it feels like to be that girl 
at the gym that blows out her hair before hand. 
it was confirmation. 

who needs anymore confirmation via selfies than this
happy, healthy, humbled, hopeful mama. 

good news is whether you/i needed it or not
we got it. 

damn selfies. 
they get you everytime. 
capture you as you are. 
most times they may suck-
or just tell the truth. 

a picture speaks 1000 words. 


 and a cattle guard is meant to keep your cows 
from skippin' town and thinkin' the grass is greener.
yea- not so much.
where there is a will there is a way. 
trust me. 

so cynical. 
i know. 

but thankful. so thankful.

 with a new found respect for
heart, integrity, solitude, trust, simplicity.

 just like that 
i found blue skies and wide open spaces
in the middle of just-where-i'm-supposed-to-be arizona.

let's get lost together. 
let's take the dirt road. 
the high one.